Bethmannchen, I.1 and Sucre, T.2
1Universitat Kuchen, 2Université de Gateau
Abstract
Decades of observation and research have established that the Moon, Earth’s only natural satellite, is tidally locked to Earth and aids in the stabilization of the planet’s gravitational wobble. However, little research has been conducted on the esculent nature of the Moon. While the scientific community has speculated about the gustatory provenance of the lunar surface for nearly a century, limited data has been produced on the subject. With the availability of recent novel technologies, we are now uniquely positioned to answer this age-old question.
By applying Yolk’s Universal Metric (YUM) to determine the isotopic signatures of lunar rock collected during the Apollo mission, we find that the Moon’s composition is 52% flour, 30% milk, 8% sugar, 5% oil, and 5% baking powder. Additional analyses from core drillings indicate that the Moon’s core is primarily comprised of molten marshmallow. Finally, using the Bio Larithmic Inverted Sapidity Scale (BLISS), we have extrapolated a flavor profile for the Moon consisting of one part raspberry, one part lemon, and one part vanilla. In conclusion, it is our determination that the Moon is cake. These findings are significant in their potential for numerous applications and for positioning the Moon as a future source of long-term Human satiation.
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